staying here

favourtie song

2008-07-23T13:48:00.002+08:00

2008-05-14T14:39:00.001+08:00

BLOG SHUT DOWN...... NO MORE UPDATES

2008-05-09T12:52:00.003+08:00

I MUST LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOU.......

I WILL NOT BE

STUBBORN ANYMORE!!!!!

2008-05-05T20:02:00.002+08:00

Father Oh God.... I dunno why i dunno how
but i trust in You will bring me thru all
help me.. i feel so lost... i do not have the wisdom to grasp everything
but no matter wad... God i pray for peace the surpass all understanding.. i pray
that you will continue to wash me in ure presence
be with me, hold my hand as i continue...
for i am sure i cant do it alone
for i am sure i wan you and need you along.

2008-05-04T17:24:00.004+08:00

LONG POST
Father flexed His muscles. “God’s power is very great for those who
believe,” Paul taught. “That power is the same as the great strength God used to raise Christ from the dead” (Eph. 1:19—20).
Next time you wonder if God can catch you, read that verse. The very arms that defeated death
are the arms awaiting you.
Next time you wonder if God can forgive you, read that verse. The very hands that were nailed
to the cross are open for you.
And the next time you wonder if you will survive the jump, think of your dad and you yourself. If a flesh-and-
bone-headed dad can catch his child, don’t you think your eternal Father can catch you?

Perhaps your childhood memories bring more hurt than inspiration. The voices of your past
cursed you, belittled you, ignored you. At the time, you thought such treatment was typical. Now you see it isn’t.
And now you find yourself trying to explain your past.
I came across a story of a man who must have had such thoughts. His heritage was tragic. His
grandfather was a murderer and a mystic who sacrificed his own children in ritual abuse. His dad was a punk who ravaged houses of worship and made a mockery of believers. He was killed at the age of twenty-four.. . by his friends.
The men were typical of their era. They lived in a time when prostitutes purveyed their wares
in houses of worship. Wizards treated disease with chants. People worshiped stars and
followed horoscopes. More thought went into superstition and voodoo than into the education of the children.
It was a dark time in which to be born. What do you do when your grandfather followed black
magic, your father was a scoundrel, and your nation is corrupt?
Follow suit? Some assumed he would. Branded him as a delinquent before he was born, a chip off the old rotten block. You can almost hear the people moan as he passes, “Gonna be just like
his dad.”
But they were wrong. He wasn’t. He reversed the trend. He defied the odds. He stood like a
dam against the trends of his day and rerouted the future of his nation. His achievements were so remarkable, we still tell his story twenty-six hundred years later.
The story of King Josiah. The world has seen wiser kings; the world has seen wealthier kings;
the world has seen more powerful kings. But history has never seen a more courageous king than young Josiah. He flipped through his family scrapbook until he found an ancestor worthy of emulation.
Josiah skipped his dad’s life and bypassed his grandpa’s. He leapfrogged back in time until he
found David and resolved, “I’m going to be like him.”
The principle? We can’t choose our parents, but we can choose our mentors.
And since Josiah chose David (who had chosen God), things began to happen.his own. As the temple was being rebuilt, one of the workers happened upon a scroll. On the
scroll were the words of God given to Moses nearly a thousand years earlier.
When Josiah heard the words, he was shocked. He wept that his people had drifted so far from
God that His Word was not a part of their lives.
He sent word to a prophetess and asked her, “What will become of our people?”
She told Josiah that since he had repented when he heard the words, his nation would be spared
the anger of God (see 2 Chron. 34:27). Incredible. An entire generation received grace because of
the integrity of one man.
Could it be that God placed him on earth for that reason?
Could it be that God has placed you on earth for the same?
Maybe your past isn’t much to brag about. Maybe you’ve seen raw evil. And now you, like
Josiah, have to make a choice. Do you rise above the past and make a difference? Or do you
remain controlled by the past and make excuses?
Many choose the latter.
Many choose the convalescent homes of the heart. Healthy bodies. Sharp minds. But
retired dreams. Back and forth they rock in the chair of regret, repeating the terms of surrender.
Lean closely and you will hear them: “If only.” The white flag of the heart.
“If only. . .“
“If only I’d been born somewhere else..
“If only I’d been treated fairly. . .“
“If only I’d had kinder parents, more money, greater opportunites …”
“If only I’d been potty-trained sooner, spanked less, or taught to eat without slurping.”
Maybe you’ve used those words. Maybe you have every right to use them. Perhaps you, like Josiah, were hearing the ten count before you even got into the ring. For you to find an ancestor worth imitating, you, like Josiah, have to flip way back in your family album.
If such is the case, let me show you where to turn. Put down the scrapbook and pick up
your Bible. Go to John’s gospel and read Jesus’ words: “Human life comes from human parents,
but spiritual life comes from the Spirit” (John 3:6). Think about that. Spiritual life comes from the Spirit! Your parents may have given you genes, but God gives you grace. Your parents may be responsible for your body, but God has taken charge of your soulUpWords, Inc. http://www.maxlucado.com/ p.14
You may get your looks from your mother, but you get eternity from your Father, your heavenly Father.
By the way, He’s not blind to your problems. In fact, God is willing to give you what your family
didn’t.
Didn’t have a good father? He’ll be your Father.
Through God you are a son; and, if you are a son, then you are certainly an heir. (Gal. 4:7
phillips)
Didn’t have a good role model? Try God.
You are God’s children whom he loves, so try to be like him. (Eph. 5:1)
Never had a parent who wiped away your tears? Think again. God has noted each one.
You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears
in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book. (Ps. 56:8 TLB)
God has not left you adrift on a sea of heredity. Just like Josiah, you cannot control the way
your forefathers responded to God. But you can control the way you respond to Him. The past
does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take.
Choose well and someday—generations from now—your grandchildren and great-grandchildren will thank God for the seeds you sowed.

2008-05-04T02:10:00.001+08:00

i am going to spread my love! cell group watch out!! hahahaha
hhahahahahha joo joo my B1 i love you muack muack!!! ahaha * wink wink**
LET DO PRAYER CELL! POP POP POPPING ALL

2008-05-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

Guard Your heart for it is the wellspring of life.
Its is priceless, how you are going to live your life depend on it.
I will guard mine no matter wad. God will help me and i know i can trust Him
wad about you? what did you do today to ensure that your heart is taken care of ?

2008-04-29T20:49:00.002+08:00

sigh.... why why why... stupid sorethroat and flu came back!
I HATE THEM SERIOUSLY...
if they were humans i will step them flat!
i crave for long john, kfc, popeye, pizza hut, SUBWAY,
SUSHI, kimchi, spicy sticky rice sticks, and many many!!!!
HAI!

2008-04-28T17:35:00.003+08:00

2008-04-28T17:30:00.002+08:00

2008-04-27T19:08:00.001+08:00

2008-04-27T18:00:00.003+08:00

Breathe on us
Breathe on us
Breathe on us
Breathe of God
with fire and power
move in us today

AH FANG FANG IS BACK IN ACTION !!
WHAHAHAHAHAH!

after going thru that horrible days,
i can say i am good and well and alive and kicking again!
whaha!
as i am revising for econs and praying while doing it... hehehe
i got reminded how i go thru that horrible days
with all the non stop vomiting, feeling nauseous, dirr, flu, cough,fever
as i recall, i remember the times when i was so sick, like totally, and
the days when i cried out to God in the many times in the middle of night
even though i was sick, God still revealed many things to me (shhh secret)
and explosion goes off within me.
even you walk thru the valleys of death,
God's hand still uphold us!
Sovereign hands
Nailed to a humble cross
Scars you bear
Speak of your redeeming love
No wonder I call you the Savior
No wonder I'm singing
wad can i say. afterall my life belongs to You.
Only Yours
God besides joo joo You are the one of the first guy i say this to
LOVE LOVE MUACK MUACK HUG HUG!!

2008-04-23T00:18:00.003+08:00

If you were to ask me why i want to get baptize, i would say cause i am captivated by God's beauty and love. I've fallen in love with Jesus, and i trust him for forgiveness and heaven and everything i need in between. i want to be the kind of person who will do whatever he wants to be done, including baptism.
When we see God changing lives, our joy explodes! It is yet another way He shows us who He truly is. I am awed and amazed at God gives us grace to let us have a role to play in His story, in His plans. God, whatever it takes, i will just hold on to Your hand, cling on to Your train, i pledge my love to my King and His kingdom. I will follow. I love this. Loving God and embracing His word(God himself). Loving people and engaging the world. Yes, It is really that simple.

2008-04-21T07:51:00.002+08:00

hehehe... yes love love...hahaha as joo joo will say... hahaha.. okays anyway, in the morning revising for my paper which is later around 10... haha i thought to myself and i prayed... i prayed over things that now have a TUG in my heart. yes. TUG. hahaha
okay anyway, this is wad was spoken to me. Wanted to share here then.

i was thinking to myself and praying to God that I want to serve Him, i want to serve people, I want to be the last of the last if u wanna put it. Cause i would say that i really love my people. At times, of course when i see myself or my member or even evan, i get heartache. or literally heart break.. piang piang that kind...hahahah.

here goes partly about what God tell me... and i want this to sink in into you as well.

The road from here to eternity is never intended to be easy, and I (GOD) know it. Of course at times you (me) are inclined to grumble at time about the situation you are at. At times, it is when you are confused by the events that are taking place in your life. But remember the treasures i have laid up for you my daughter! Remember the reward and remember the focus is on Me. you said ureself that without me(God) you are nothing. Keep your eyes on me then and aren't I all you need? I am training you, to prepare you for eternity, for the path lies ahead.

yes the comforting news is that in the midst of all testing and development, we are given the Holy Spirit!

Romans 8:23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body

Of course we can groan, but be reminded not to mix up groaning with grumble.
When we grumble, what are we saying? That we are not contented in life, that God's sovereign purpose is being challenged, that we deserve better than this! ( which many of us know that we don't)
In trek to Promised Land, the Jews responded same didn't they? they grumbled! There was always 'not enough'. Not enough food, water,comfort, blah blah blah.
Be reminded my friends, that even Paul admonishes us saying :
(1 Cor:9) nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; (v10) nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. (v11) Now all, these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.

so my dear love love... ahahah.. are you groaning or grumbling? What your answer is will determine if you understand and accept that this earthly sojourn is God's time and means to make everyone of us Christlike and preparing us for eternity. ITS ALL LINKED!

2008-04-20T13:20:00.003+08:00

was frustrated with myself and especially saturday night... esp when the part of have to debrief in own connect groups... members weren't cooperating... and initially the things i wanted to share the excitement jus boop! then yea things happen which i personally feel like a flop? then when i wanna share before i can open my mouth my member went kuai dian lei... then i am like woah.... i waited for u ... now finally when u finish ure happy dilly dallying you ask me kuai dian?? thats that moment i know no matter wad i say, what i share... its jus another debrief... jus another yak and thts it. so i asked joo joo to help.. she said she was tired.. can see.. so she asked kristin and here and there and ya.. i jus turned my head away...... then after that i jus thought to myself... and think to myself.. and got depressed... depressed as in i got so tired and frustrated at myself.... i look at wad i have to offer to God and it seems so small... seems so useless... but who wouldn't if ure me? who would nt be depressed after trying so much.. praying so much for them... moved an inch.. then people critisizing... people telling u wad to do like then you should bleh bleh bleh.. as if they know? people comment blah blah blah.. then secrets between members when u are trying to help them they keep secrets between themselves? is that helping?? ok then keep secrets then at least help me connect to that member?? no?? then how? i got so helpless and hated myself to the core that i left without fellowship.. went home and cried to myself... so helpless.. so idiot i feel... feel like giving up coc.. for wad?? i am nt helping anyone.... thats so much i can do.....
sun morning i was sick and wanted to go service.. but decided not to when had fever again around 630... so stayed at home and watched online... I LOVE YOU DR KIM SUNGHE!! hahaah she is really jovial woman at her age. hahaha! i wanna be like her! haha!! her words are simple but yet her words are that rich in content... thats when yesterday's thoughts jus breakaway and i decided tis time lets try again... giving myself las shot with God.. this time pray more for them and seeking his face only.. her words be a HAPPY MAN! hahahah! YES I AM... have to remember the one greater than me God.. yes. Him.. so right now i dun need anyone's comments but Him... zippppppppppp

2008-04-17T21:28:00.003+08:00

Most of us have been misinterpreting life and what God is doing for a long time. “I think I’m just trying to get God to make my life work easier,” a client of mine confessed, but he could have been speaking for most of us. We’re asking the wrong questions. Most of us are asking, “God, why did you let this happen to me?” Or, “God, why won’t you just ________” (fill in the blank—help me succeed, get my kids to straighten out, fix my marriage—you know what you’ve been whining about). But to enter into a journey of initiation with God requires a new set of questions: What are you trying to teach me here? What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of ? In truth, God has been trying to initiate you for a long time. What is in the way is how you’ve mishandled your wound and the life you’ve constructed as a result.
“Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound that hurts is shameful,” notes Robert Bly in Iron John. Like a man who’s broken his leg in a marathon, he finishes the race even if he has to crawl and he doesn’t say a word about it. A man’s not supposed to get hurt; he’s certainly not supposed to let it really matter. We’ve seen too many movies where the good guy takes an arrow, just breaks it off, and keeps on fighting; or maybe he gets shot but is still able to leap across a canyon and get the bad guys. And so most men minimize their wound. King David (a guy who’s hardly a pushover) didn’t act like that at all. “I am poor and needy,” he confessed openly, “and my heart is wounded within me” (Ps. 109:22).

Or perhaps they’ll admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserved it. Suck it up, as the saying goes. The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it.

2008-04-16T12:25:00.002+08:00

sick~ sick~ sick~... feel so horrible, terrible... being sick totally make me feel so down so helpless.. revision have to stop.... making me feel worse... but its ok!! haha i still love resting anyway... THANKS CHRIS, JOO JOO, EVAN for being understanding... for now.. i will jus rest and study when i have a little energy to....

2008-04-15T20:58:00.003+08:00

ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!!! so pissed off with the doctor i went to see... gave me pills that doesn't help my throat at all!! and my throat hurts like mad!! ARGH!!! in the end have to call and scold them before they changed my pills... i mean!! ARGH!!!! STUPID MORON NEIGHBOURHOOD DOCTOR!!!!!

2008-04-13T19:51:00.004+08:00

cell group sabo time!!!

2008-04-12T23:24:00.004+08:00

today's message on Prayer really touches me once again.... although its nt the first time Pastor preaches, but it definitely let many of us search ourselves and have a 'stock-take' again.

"In the time of our innocence, we trusted in good because we had not yet known evil. On this side of Eden and our own experience of the Fall—whatever our own Arrows have been and however the adversary has woven them together into our particular Message of the Arrows—it appears that we are left to find our way to trust in good, having stared evil in the face.

Most of us remember the time of our innocence as a Haunting. I (Brent) mean innocence not as being sinless but as that time before our experience with the Arrows crystallized into a way of handling life which is the false self. The Haunting calls to us unexpectedly in the melody and words of certain songs that have become our “life music”: the crooked smile of a friend; the laughter of our children (or their tears); the calling to mind of a mischievous face that still believed in joy; the smell of a perfume; the reading of a poem; or the hearing of a story. However the Haunting comes, it often brings with it a bittersweet poignancy of ache, the sense that we stood at a crossroads somewhere in the past and chose a turning that left some shining part of ourselves—per-haps the best part—behind, left it behind with the passion of youthful love, or the calling of a heart vocation, or simply in the sigh of coming to terms with the mundane requirements of life.

2008-04-11T02:21:00.003+08:00

i love eating food .. food like kfc's coleslaw mixed with chilli..... mashed potato mixed with chilli... its the yum... hahahah.... right now.. i am eating oyster!! hahaha oyster with tabasco and lemon at 246am in the morning... i also like hmm.. oh! green bean soup with porridge... and also fermented tofu, popoye's bread... and right now there are too many that i wanna yum. hahaha... basically my mom says that besides rubbish, i eat anything... quite true.. except chicken.....(there are some exceptions though...) hahah... i can jus mix everything and try.... once i remembered i tried cooking pasta with fruits?? hahahah i literally jus throw oranges, apple inside and mixed it and ate it for breakfast.... experimenting is always nt a bad thing afterall...

2008-04-10T11:29:00.003+08:00

this was taken when i woke up early to go for sunday expo service. pretty right.... smiles*** hahahah.. anyway i called the youth alpha centre... at the goldhill centre.. and looks like they are so 'proud' that they are holding this event with planetshakers they got so stuck up.....
phonecall..

Me : hello, hi , i would like to ask the collection of tickets can i come down now to collect it?
Stuck up lady over the phone : NO! ITS ALREADY OVER!
Me : Oh.... but i got reserve online already
Stuck up lady: YAH! but sooo long already then u call!!
Me : thats because since tuesday i have been calling and you all nvr answer.
Stuck up lady: YA! we have been PREPARING the tickets! you think wad?
Me got sooooooo annoyed (first time ever since i receive salvation i shouted over the phone)
Me : CAN BE POLITE?? I AM ASKING YOU NICELY RIGHT? I HAVE BEEN CALLING SO U ALL BUSY PREPARING UNTIL NO MORE TICKETS?? IF DUN HAVE THEN ITS OK THEN, I AM JUS ASKING!!! then my last sentence was : SHUT UP LA!
first time i got so fed up and its nt even my fault in the first place! hai.... maybe she had a bad day....

2008-04-09T12:08:00.003+08:00

because of one man trespass adam, we all have sin. then why not people believe through one man Jesus we all receive righteousness?? clear all junk in you!!

2008-04-08T01:50:00.004+08:00

i dun wanna listen to things that are not suppose to happen and things that are useless.. i dun wanna listen to anything... nothing that involves useless things cause i know you are nt just there.. u can go further.... so dun narrow ure mind and ure thinking. Go further... know ure boundaries, know ure people. tts all i can say. dun let me be disappointed with you again pls. I cant keep having people around me like that. either you move on or i will...

2008-04-07T21:04:00.004+08:00

Letter to Jesus
(From Jordon Management Consultant Firm thought that they'll give their advice when they heard He was choosing 12 disciples. On the 12 men that He had chose, they were concerned that He has made some serious errors.

Thank You Jesus for submitting the 12 men's resume that You have picked for the management position in the new organisation. All of them had taken our test and each of them had a personal interview with our psychologist and vocational attitude consultant.

It is the staff opinion that most of Your each nominations are lacking in background, education, vocation attitude for the type of inner pressure that You're taking. They do not seem to have the ability to work as a team.

We would recommend that You'll continue Your search for person of experience, manager ability and capacity.

Simon Peter, for example, is emotionally unstable and given the fits of temper. Andrew had no leadership quality, the 2 brothers, James and John, the son of Zabedee, has placed personal interest above company's loyalty.

Thomas demonstrated a questioning attitude that will definitely undermine the reality. And we feel that it is our duty to let You know that Matthew have been blacklisted by the greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.

James, the son of Alphaeus and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leaning and they both register for a high score in manic depression scale.

One all of Your candidates however does show great potential. he is man of ability and resource, he meets people well and has a keen business mind. Contacts in high place, highly self-motivated and ambitious and responsible. The only one of the twelve we can recommend is Judas. Let him be Your controller and right hand man. And you shall flourish and we wish You well in Your adventure Jesus.

People look on the outside but God looks on the inside. Thank God for that!

2008-04-06T00:09:00.003+08:00

God.. In the midst of all I will still love You and continue be faithful to You. i shall be fruitful and continue to grow!!!! You alone are good. CHEERS!

2008-04-04T22:52:00.003+08:00

remember Nick!! hahaha! that optimistic evangelist !!! anyway.. today the message at cell group was awesome.. even though nt as much people turned up for today. BUT IT WAS AWESOME! i mean. i love God. And having his presence, having him really jus let my heart overflow. And i love the book of Psalms, Proverbs, Ezekiel, Song of Solomon, Genesis (cause of creation)... Oh man i jus love the whole bible, cover to cover!!!! and i cant help it. I wanna thank God again, for the bible, for the truth, for the promises, for loving us. Every time whenever i feel down, i can run to you and remind myself if the covenant between u and us. And no matter how many times i jus keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you all over again. No matter wad, true, you bring us through. Appreciate his word people. Appreciate the frens and family or anybody around you, cause as the old saying goes, Everything has a purpose. TRUST ME.

2008-04-04T00:17:00.003+08:00

Dear God. I just want to love you more and grow as you continue to guide me. besides loving people and You. Keep everything out of my sight. cause i dun care anymore. i really dun.

2008-03-31T17:56:00.002+08:00

lets go back to God. lets keep everything pure and simple... dun wanna be in anything anymore... jus concentrate on serving God, serving people. thats it.

2008-03-30T02:11:00.002+08:00

MY FAVOURITE LEADER!!! ONE OF MY PILLAR IN MY LIFE!! I LOVE YOU!!
AND I LOVE GOD!
DEAR GOD !! I WANT MORE OF YOU
BRING ME TO THE NEXT LEVEL
REVEAL MORE OF YOU TO ME
WHERE EVER U WANNA GO
I WILL FOLLOW
I THANK YOU
I LOVE YOU
LET YOUR LOVE RUNS OVER ME
ONLY IN YOU I CAN TRUST, REST, RELY ON.
GOD, YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
NOTHING CAN EXPRESS WAD I TRULY FEEL.
I PRESENT MYSELF AS A LIVING SACRIFICE!
MUCH LOVE
QUEENIE

2008-03-29T00:01:00.002+08:00

BREAKAWAY!!! hahahah.. one of the photos that i put up on montage... and i really love it to my soul, my body, my mind ! hahahah! anywayss.... today had a great time at cell and really hope that my testimony did touched the rest outside...... cause i hope that going through all i can relate better to people... and yes.. i thank God for everything once again.... I pray that as i continue to water people i myself will continue to get watered... and hope that i will have more breakthrough and able to go up to another level in life....

told joce that i hope to find someone who i can pour my everything in.. someone who listens and really i can heart to heart connect to... cause i feel it always people pouring in and mine up to the brink.... but sometimes when i think abt it... it jus poop! nothing! hahah! GOOD MAN! hahahah NO WORRIES TOTALLY!!!! i love God.. simply love Him... gosh. tired... think will try to sleep asap once i finish my work.. tatatatatata!!!!

2008-03-26T11:09:00.003+08:00

keep thinking about stuff and thinking to how break through the barrier.. and realised that that i cant do pretty much on it..... thought to myself... am i doing the right thing? why do i feel so awful? why cant i do to help much? why mus i look at it this way? many questions that literally have no answer... i feel so like strangling myself.. hahaha.... we are always being compelled to ask: is this something in which Jesus would engage? there.. jus that shuts everything down... always telling myself take it easy and tings always turn out jus right.... yup.. simply loving it i would say... out of sudden i would like to say i love you Evan, Joo!!! whahaha! muack muack! replacing thoughts..... God's ways are higher then my ways, God's thoughts are higher than my thoughts.... My life to Him... i love my frens. i love my cell group. i love my life. i love myself! i love everything!!!! all thanks to wads from above! everything! thanks to Him!!! i love you Jesus!! MUACKS!

2008-03-23T17:54:00.003+08:00

easter is over!!! and i am very excited for next wk... anyway, haven been sleeping enough so my body really feels terrible..... but need to prepare for lesson tomro and revision.... OH GOD! hahaha... anyway, although being tired physically, but i feel its all worthwhile... looking at new frens coming to Christ makes me feel overjoyed... one more soul added into the Kingdom of God, one more saved , one more person that can be one of the hands and legs of God, one more precious fren reconciled with god and impact the world outside... one more person being touched by God....... Continue to reach out guys! love it... tell you something, in the past i used to hate evangelism.... cause i reject the idea of asking people to come and needing to guide and dun feel the need to.... but after a certain breakthrough in mindset, a change in mindset, i truly totally love evangelising..... and this yr is truly a year that a lot of new blood came.. yum yum.. hahahha!

grieve.....

2008-03-22T01:57:00.004+08:00

watching the drama today spark fireworks inside my head..... the main attention of drama was peter and jesus.... and inside my mind, i have so much inside going through.... thoughts thoughts thoughts... will share with people around me.... redoing goodie bag and doing work.... tired but happy... though it may seem little for first service on friday, but adding both service for friday, i was happy. in the sense, its nt really on numbers though it does count, but also the effort that everyone put together to make everything work. yes, there is a lot to do, but i really love wad i am doing.... helping. i like helping. hahah.... ya. i jus love wad i love now... meeting at later morning... tired but i love it and aint tired of it. lets say, its the joy of enjoying it while i do it. haha!

2008-03-16T22:37:00.003+08:00

look for a moment what does this say to you?
things happening to me nvr stop... jus like everlasting....hahahaha... but i am very encouraged by wad phil pringle had said as i had mentioned in previous post.. but no matter wad.. i of course feel worried, anxiety, stress, burderned... for a moment i look at myself so tired, torn apart, and seriously unsure... but out of our weakness thats when God is able to fully show his power and glory..... true.. but my mind right now is full of doubts... but i know i can do it... its jus complaining in here.... one of them be i have 0 allowances and my bank account left with 9.30? pathetic... i know.. but i believe for a miracle.. not only this problem.. but for others and well... well! there is a good news anyway, that i have prevailed against wad i was struggling with... and i won with THE HELP OF GOD! and i really thank God for it... everytime i go through it, it jus felt all darkness trying their best to eat me up but i am too fat for you! neh neh neh poo poo! haha ok it was childish.... but yup i felt i am given a second chance to live again every time i emerge victory with His help... without him i be nothing, without him, God knows how many time i would have died on the inside. easter is coming!!!!! and i am looking forward to it! DUN YOU FEEL THAT WAY! hahahaha... who can i turn to ONLY YOU GOD! with His word, i can i can i can!

WHAHA!

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor. 4:16–18)

The first line grabs me by the throat. “Therefore we do not lose heart.” Somebody knows how not to lose heart? I’m all ears. For we are losing heart. All of us. Daily. It is the single most unifying quality shared by the human race on the planet at this time. We are losing—or we have already lost—heart. That glorious, resilient image of God in us is fading, fading, fading away. And this man claims to know a way out.
So, how, Paul—how? How do we not lose heart?

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. (2 Cor. 4:18)

What? I let out a sigh of disappointment. Now that’s helpful. “Look at what you cannot see.” That sounds like Eastern mysticism, that sort of wispy wisdom dripping in spirituality but completely inapplicable to our lives. Life is an illusion. Look at what you cannot see. What can this mean? Remembering that a little humility can take me a long way, I give it another go. This wise old seer is saying that there is a way of looking at life, and that those who discover it are able to live from the heart no matter what. How do we do this? By seeing with the eyes of the heart. Later in life, writing from prison to some friends he was deeply concerned about, Paul said, “I pray . . . that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened” (Eph. 1:18).

2008-03-16T00:10:00.003+08:00

God is really our Almighty God. He knows each and every of our thoughts and never let us go through something too much that we can't bear. Just as these past 2 wks i have been emo-ing, i told myself not to emo anymore and i see the daily mediation that help myself to slap myself! hahaha... and phil pringle's message... and one more mail that i subscribe to.. and i felt really really blessed.
i mean i emo cause of endless trials i face, and no one seems to grasp it.... though they understand but often cant really fully comprehend. it makes me feel frustrated often.. but after the message i believe i am fully charged to go once more.. revived in the spirit and continue to seek the Lord for his everlasting power.

how to say this...... God i love You.. YOU"RE THE MAN!

2008-03-15T00:44:00.003+08:00

this was done when we were waiting for everyone to gather for pm at clarke quay...

2008-03-14T11:18:00.003+08:00

would you pray for me?
pray that my nightmares will never come back..
would you pray for me?
pray that forever they wun come back
would you pray for me?

2008-03-12T09:38:00.004+08:00

ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME

dear people who likes to compare:

i dun need you to tell me wad to do i am not a moron for God's sake! i mean i will seek for help if i need to, and man pls! for a moment i am thinking like i dun need anymore bullets! enough for a day! day after day after day i have to listen to ure crap wasting my time man!

thats my fallen humanity!

putting salt on wound dosen't help me to heal fast thank you!

yes i get frustrated cause i am a human being and i am made out this way..

if you are nt happy about it well, i cant possibly try to satisfy people all the time!

imagine me having to tolerate you.....

dun compare! i am so sorry that i am nt up to wad u imagined me to be!

i hate this comparing all over.. it makes me feel that i am not good enough..

full of disappointments.. for some of you trying to be smartypants and think wad it is trust me.... its nt was u think.

you think i will whine because of small little stuff think it over! i jus feel that you are really trying to push your boudaries.. comment comment comment.. ARGH!

AND I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO READ THIS OFF MY BLOG

*fallen humanity*

2008-03-05T03:25:00.000+08:00

God upholds and guides us.
The Lord is our Strength and our shield... If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:23,24 NIV

2008-02-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

i am to be ure servant but not someone u can trample on... i need the same respect i am giving you and i love you... otherwise i wun nt even have cared about you.... bottomline : disappointment..... solution: PRAY.

2008-02-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

too much to put into words... bottomline. abandoned.

2008-02-05T00:14:00.000+08:00

many things have happened over this month.... a lot... but i am still happy about wadever is going on. i mean i have long learnt to be positive about what has happen... like in stuart little 2 movie, always learn to see the positive side when something bad happen. Moreover, the evil one is pleased with sadness and melancholy because he himself is sad and melancholy, and will be for all eternity. Hence he desires that everyone should be like himself."

for me every day is a chance that God has given to us and its a new day to start everything fresh again.... dun feeel like updating anyway so its jus one of the blah blah hahah... yea..

2008-01-21T02:08:00.000+08:00

i was thinking of wad to blog.... cause i have the urge to share.. but dunno wad... then suddenly recall something... and here it goes again....

today tada! i am going to talk about porcupines!! ahaha! cause porcupines have 2 methods of handling a relationship. Attack and withdrawal.. they are generally solitary animals and they travel alone. of course, porcupines do not travel alone always, it's thoughts will be on love on late autumn. However, love turns out to be a risky business for them... females are open to dinner and a movie only once a year the window of opportunity closes quickly. and a gal porcupine no is a widely respected turn down in all animal kingdom. Fear and anger makes them dangerous to be around.. now here is the porcupine dilemma: how do it get close to one without getting hurt?

does it sound a bit too familiar..... cause this is all mortal human dilemma too.. everyone of us carry our own little arsenal. our barbs have names like rejection, condemnation, resentment, arrogance, selfishness, envy, contempt. Some other hide better than the rest, but if u probe inside, you will find they are there. They burrow under the skin of our enemies; they wound and fester and to kill.... we too, learn to survive through a combination of withdrawal and attack. We, too , find ourselves hurting and being hurt by those we long to get closest to.

yet we, too, want to get close. We meet frens, go church, date, get married and have children. We try to figure out how to get close without getting hurt. We wonder if there isn't a softer, less-barbed creature out there- an otter/ seal hahha?? maybe....

and in our life, we can think a number of porcupine in our life.. yea.. dun fake it.. you do... wink wink... hahaha.... but the problem is not jus in them.. i am somebody procupine wink wink*. So are you.

2008-01-14T22:37:00.000+08:00

here is another long blog entry.. hehehe.. lots of things happened today and i have a long break like 4-5 hours of break in between and i was listening to my mp3, praying to God and asking God for some answers i need in my life... I told God how terrible i feel and i just seek God in a quiet place in school... then i got reminded that Namaan has to wash 7 times in the water before he is cured of leprosy. Gideon must winnow his army from 30 over thousand down to 300 before God deliver them. The five loaves and 2 fish story that the fish and bread must be relinquished before they can be multiplied. the also the seed must be buried in and die before it can raise to greater and more fruitful life.. and i just felt that God ask me, ' why don't you trust me?' Simply just that emotions gripped me..fear and faith are the ones... one side say yes i will another say no dun take it, its nt Him who is talking... and for a moment i was struggling... for a moment i could nt take in anymore and i remember i did bring my bible to school haha.. i flipped open and read Psalm and i remember i read in a book that asks me to keep stepping out of the spiritual comfort zone and move forward, press in more...and peace just flooded me...and i keep saying to myself that i can do it with God...

Once, a pastor was sitting on a plane and next to him was a man in smart business suit reading at wall street journal paper. The pastor hoped that the man would talk with him about anything except about jobs... afterall he felt that once he tell people he is a pastor, people would just shut down or simply be turned off....

but as they started talking, the pastor realised how much pride the man have in his business and accomplishments.. for a moment, he thought why aren't Christians are as proud of what they are doing.

when it was his turn to talk, He felt that the Spirit was telling him, "Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Thus, He said to the man, " well , its interesting that we have similar business interests, you are in a body-changing business, while i am in personality-changing business. we apply the basic theocratic principle to accomplish indigenous personality modification."

The man was hooked, but his pride would not allow him to admit it... he then skeptically asked," do you have an office here then?" . The pastor then replied," oh we have many offices! we have office up and down the state. we're national. we have at least 1 office in every state, including Alaska and Hawaii. As a matter of fact, we have gone international. And the Management has a plan to put at least 1 office in every country of the world by the end of the business era. Do you have that in your business?"

"No" replied the man. He then continued, " well you mentioned management. How do they make it work?"

The pastor replied, " It is a family concern, There is a Father and a Son... they run everything."

"it mus then take a lot of capital!" the man asked, skeptically.

" You mean money? yes i suppose so. But we never worry cause the Boss seems to always have enough. In fact our organisation have a saying about Him, ' He owns the cattle on a thousand hills'."

The man then sat back at his seat and continue questioning " then wad about you?"

the pastor replied," well, we all have something to see to.. we all have a Spirit that pervades the organisation. This is how it works, the Father and the Son loves each other so much that their love filters down the organisation so that we all find ourselves loving one another too. I know it sounds old fashioned but i tell you, i have people in the organisation who are willing to die for me.do you have that in your business?!"

"not yet" he said... shifting umcomfortably in his seat he asked, " but Do you have good benefits?"

"They are substantial" the pastor counted with a gleam. " I have complete life insurance, fire insurance- all the basics. You might not believe but its true! i have a holdings in a mansion thats being built for me right now for my retirement. Do you have that in your business?"

" not yet..... you know... there is this one thing that bothers me.... i have read journals, and if your business is all that you say it is, why haven't i heard about it before now??" asked the man.

the pastor smiled and said," That is a good question... afterall we have been a 2000 yr old tradition.... Want to sign up??"

2008-01-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

This is the famous lampchop!!! m.i.a!!!
my new best friend.... just rise up one! hahaha! pammie!!
the group in pitstop!!! kristin and i went back a little early and they took this without us!!!! I SHALL FORGIVE!! hahaha

Natural talent alone is not enough to honor a calling from God. YOu will need ideas, strength, and creativity beyond your own resources to do what God have called each and every one of us to do... We have to do it together with God.. never just to do it for God, but called to do with God...Everyone in the scriptures have to pay high price to say 'yes God, i will do it with You'... thus so will you and I.. Sometimes it would take long hours of work and effort... will you do it? or maybe your calling will not involve any kind of recognition or wealth or influence you hoped for... does it distaste you?? sometimes you even have to devote yourself to a dream like Jeremiah and things will not turn out the way you expect, and somewhere along the way you experience crushing disappointment, hurts, opposition, dispprovement, people blocking what you are trying to do, and trials and tribulations, one obstacle followed by another, can you endure??? maybe it take a long time to discern your calling, many false starts, and we tend to be impatient, wanting immediate results, will you be patient?

Often people nowadays dun talk much about calling anymore.. but career becomes the altar on which they sacrifice their lives... but do you know a career is about upward mobility; a calling generally leads to downward mobility...

people in scriptures that their career trajectories did not look promising but who fulfilled their callings in extraordinary ways : Pharaoh had a career but Moses had a calling, Potiphar had a career but Joseph had a calling, Haman had a career but Esther had a calling, Ahab had a career but Elijah had a calling. Pilate had a career but Jesus had a calling.

Charles Colson was a high profile guy in America but he ended up in prison... He thought his career have ended.... He was right!.. His career maybe finished but his calling have jus begun! He would be called to serve men in prison through his gifts and brokeness... He reflects, "The real legacy of my life was the biggest failure- that i was an ex-convict. My greatest humialiation- being sent to prison- was a beginning of God's great use of my life! He chose me, the one who experience in which I could not glory for His glory."

At times, in the providence of God, the end of career is the beginning to one's calling. You are not a spare part... nor anyone who is a nobody... You are on a mission for God... Just remember- there is some assembly required.. thats it!

2008-01-06T00:58:00.000+08:00

this new year is really already a happening one.... things goin on in school even before school reopen... fren pass away from prayer group... and it really upsets me ... new year new beginning.... resolutions.... i jus pray that God can carry me through as He did before... Just like how Jesus reach His hand out to peter on waters as Peter was drowning.... Faith and fear are always in battle whenever you are moving to a new level... how true is that.... new level, new devil.....

2008-01-04T10:32:00.000+08:00

been working as carrier receptionist for 3 dats and somehow i feel a lot.... just working here, i am able to feel God's presence and everytime when i am feel that i am up to my limit, it always that the Holy spirit will tell me to go on..... but anyway i really thank Evan for thisjob... the pay is really good though... hahahah.. and for this year i really feel that our cell group is able to have a breakthrough in growth... and guys lets try to get at least 3-4 frens for every service! cause i really believe that this year 2008, we will just really breakthrough in many different areas and go up to a much higher level!!! JIA YOU JIA YOU!!

2008-01-03T20:00:00.000+08:00

Picture yourself in an ancient European city—Florence perhaps or Madrid. You find yourself at dusk, wandering through the older parts of town. Narrow streets are lined with dimly lit shops—pawnbrokers, no doubt, alongside various dealers in antiquities, booksellers, curious haunts harboring mysteries from far-off lands. Partly out of curiosity, partly out of a wish to avoid the jostling crowds, you turn into a musty parlor. As your eyes adjust to the twilight inside, you discover aisles crammed with Babylonian trinkets, Persian rugs, suits of armor, Colombian pottery. You browse indifferently among everything old and intriguing. Then, something catches your eye. Sitting in a pile of forgotten silver urns and incense burners, it might have escaped your notice altogether. But it seemed to call to you, whisper your name. In fact, it is already in your hands. This is ridiculous, you think. You turn the lamp over and over most carefully, looking for . . . you’re not quite sure what. Obviously it is from the Middle East, Arabia most likely. What am I thinking? These things happen only in fairy tales. Something you read long ago—was it in Chesterton?—crosses your mind. “An adventure is, by its nature, a thing that comes to us. It is a thing that chooses us, not a thing that we choose.” He’s right about that, you admit. Alice wasn’t looking for Wonderland when she fell through the looking glass. Come to think of it, the four children just stumbled into Narnia through the back of the wardrobe. Anodos simply woke to find fairyland had taken over his bedroom. But another voice rises within you, urging caution. You’ve got places to go, for heaven’s sake. Don’t let yourself get carried away. The voice is full of common sense, of course. But the voice also seems old and tired. From how many adventures has it swayed you in your life? How many dreams left in the closet? “Closing time,” calls the curator of the shop. He begins to blow out the lamps. Your heart is racing. Somewhere back in your mind you hear the voice urging you on to your duties. But it is too late. You’ve already rubbed the lamp.

2007-12-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

Over the years we’ve come to see that the only thing more tragic than the things that have happened to us is what we have done with them. Words were said, painful words. Things were done, awful things. And they shaped us. Something inside us shifted. We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. We adopted strategies to protect ourselves from being hurt again. A woman that is living out of a broken, wounded heart is a woman who is living a self-protective life. She may not be aware of it, but it is true. It’s our way of trying to “save ourselves.” We also developed ways of trying to get something of the love our hearts cried out for. The ache is there. Our desperate need for love and affirmation, our thirst for some taste of romance and adventure and beauty is there. So we turned to boys or to food or to romance novels; we lost ourselves in our work or at church or in some sort of service. All this adds up to the woman we are today. Much of what we call our “personalities” is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for. The problem is, our plan has nothing to do with God. The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as women. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. Clearly, he’s holding out on us. We’ll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We’ll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability.

2007-12-30T04:10:00.001+08:00

2007-12-30T02:38:00.000+08:00

hello! hahaha! been pondering on what God have done for us and i really thank God for people in my life... how God place each and every of us inside each other life is really amazing... all of sudden i jus feel i need evan now... hahaha... but anyway! thanks for all the presents guys! thanks thanks! it jus keep coming in nt bad!hahaha! LOVE JOO DESMOND PAMELA!!!!! THANKS for the card cake and wallet! woohoo!hahaha! anyway, today's sermon impacted me.. though its all should know but its like still something to receive... yup...

2007-12-29T01:38:00.000+08:00

hello! today had thanksgiving dinner! well.. had a fun time and pauline's celll group also had theirs there so it was fun!!! i got esther award!hahahaha! its cool man! oh ya at first i went to toilet and evan was presenting the first award... and when i came back everyone went joo joo! and i thought it was best helper award or smth liddat so i went joshua! hahaha only to find out that the award was ruth and it was meant for sisters only!!! oh dear!! hahahah! and after which i smsed a sms to evan and it was hilarious!!! hahah! i was laughing off when evan called back! hahaha! those who know! wink wink ah phoebe! hahahah! OUT!

2007-12-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

spent the day looking after evan booth today... but most of the selling was done by aini, wasn't really in the mood for selling today, besides the people who came and take a look were few.... see the Bible for what it is- the greatest romance ever written. God creates mankind for intimacy with himself, as his beloved. We see it right at the start, when he gives us the highest freedom of all-the freedom to reject him. The reason is obvious: love is possible only when it is freely chosen. True love is never constrained; our hearts cannot be taken by force..... stone... stone.. stone....

2007-12-23T01:41:00.000+08:00

Joo trying to be pitiful but i know she is happy on the inside!
LOOK EVIDENCE!! ( SHES HAPPY!)

SHE GOT A HARVEST IN THE END!! AWWW HOW CUTE!!!

well today service was great... though today i did have a hard time and during the service i really feel a lot.... inside i have so much to say....
oh ya there is a few people i wanna thank!
thank WENDY for celebrating my bday with a cake! though its small but to me its a lot yea!(REALLY) arent you touched! hahaha
and to PAMELA!(pauline's) oh man you are a really dear dear to me too! my upcoming best fren! hahah!
to TRICIA OU OU ! hahah thanks for the body shop thing which make me smell like a grapefruit totally!hahahah! i love you!
to CHELSEA for being a real dear too! hahaha!
and today had lots of fun! woo hoo! pi pi pi!

2007-12-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

hahah! hey jun sen! this is for you! hahahah! man aunt come for a visit but her children are really driving everyone nuts.... hahaha.. they are really rascals man... driving my sister and parents up to the wall.... anyway, to day went to watch enchanted, hmm it was hahaha.. it was eh.. really a pg movie? a family kind... am thinking of watching the national treasure book of secrets..hahaha.. it looked pretty interesting... man.. headache sinks in...... wadever wadever blah blah

2007-12-20T00:45:00.000+08:00

christmas is coming! hahah! i jus hope that my family will come on monday service and all be well.... school is giving me lots of stress and truthfully i am quite burned out... been thinking over stuff that drains me out.. then slowly i become a stone myself...hahahah... but christmas is still coming! so gonna boost up and run along... a lot of happening and a lot of things that 'awaken' me sort of....... realise that i have nt been doing enough! but i am on my way.... CHRISTMAS GONNA BE GOOD!

2007-12-19T13:32:00.000+08:00

When we set out to hear God's voice, we do not listen as though it will come from somewhere above us or in the room around us. It comes to us from within, from the heart, the dwelling place of God. Now, most of us haven't been trained in this, and it's going to take a little practice 'tuning in” to all that's going on in there. And there's a lot going on in there, by the way. Many things are trying to play upon the beautiful instrument of the heart. Advertisers are constantly trying to pull on your heartstrings. So is your boss. The devil is a master at manipulating the heart. So are many people-though they would never admit that is what they are doing. How will you know what is compelling you? “Who can map out the various forces at play in one soul?'asked Augustine, a man who was the first to write out the story of listening to his heart. 'Man is a great depth, O Lord . . . but the hairs of his head are easier by far to count than . . . the movements of his heart.' This can be distressing at times. All sorts of awful things can seem to issue from your heart- anger, lust, fear, petty jealousies. If you think it's you, a reflection of what’s really going on in your heart, it will disable you. It could stop your journey dead in its tracks. What you've encountered is either the voice of your flesh or an attempt of the Enemy to distress you by throwing all sorts of thoughts your way and blaming you for it. You must proceed on this assumption: your heart is good.

2007-12-17T20:13:00.000+08:00

Once we come to accept that we can never find or hang on to the life we have been seeking, what then? As Dallas Willard writes, it matters for all the world to know that life is ahead of us. I meet many faithful Christians who, in spite of their faith, are deeply disappointed in how their lives have turned out. Sometimes it is simply a matter of how they experience aging, which they take to mean they no longer have a future. But often, due to circumstances or wrongful decisions and actions by others, what they had hoped to accomplish in life they did not . . . Much of the distress of these good people comes from a failure to realize that their life lies before them . . . the life that lies endlessly before us in the kingdom of God. (The Divine Conspiracy) Blaise Pascal also observed, "We are never living, but hoping to live; and whilst we are always preparing to be happy, it is certain, we never shall be so, if we aspire to no other happiness than what can be enjoyed in this life.” Desire cannot live without hope. Yet, we can only hope for what we desire. There simply must be something more, something out there on the road ahead of us, that offers the life we prize. To sustain the life of the heart, the life of deep desire, we desperately need to possess a clearer picture of the life that lies before us.